Relationships are a science: some elements work great together, others not so much? The dynamics of a destructive relationship isn't the subject at hand here. Today, I'd like to talk about the aftermath...

Have you ever noticed that every kind of relationship can result in the same kind of emotional scars? The kind of relationship isn't what defines the aftermath (brother/sister, friendship, bf/gf, etc.) It's the elements that were involved in the relationship that produce these emotional battle wounds. For instance, is there any type of a lie? No, a lie is a lie, no matter which way you cut it, or who was the liar. Is there different types of betrayal. Nope...the circumstances are different but when the sun goes down, betrayal is betrayal. How about disillusion? Nope, the journey of disillusion is a complex and unique one for each of us. But at the end of the day, disillusion in a person, thing, idea,plan....hurts just the same. So how come we find it so difficult to reach out to each other in the aftermath of relationships? The common demoninator in all of these is that we became vulnerable to a person, thing, idea, plan and what you would have bet the house on, turned out to be a complete fallacy that left you bruised and battered.

"Once upon a time, there was a dog named Puppy. Puppy came into this world ready to love and hug and cherish everyone in Puppy's life because that is what drove it's heart: unconditional love. But Puppy ran into people who did not share in it's ideals about love. They told it that they did but then why did they hurt, lie, deceive it the way that they did? In the beginning of the trials that Puppy faced, it took all the emotional and sometimes physical beatings that it received from the people Puppy wanted to love and hug and cherish unconditionally and did not fight back. But eventually, Puppy began to hold back on his desire to love and hug and cherish everyone unconditionally. In fact, Puppy began to fight back and adapted a defensive, aggressive, ultra-independent approach to dealing with the elements that tortured it's fragile little heart. One day, the abuse stopped, and Puppy began to be taken care of by different people who wanted to love and hug and cherish Puppy like it was initially born to do. But Puppy could not let it's guard down. Puppy maintained the defensive, ultra-independent position on life and barked and bit those that approached it, regardless if there intentions were to give Puppy what it most desired in the world..."

Can you relate to Puppy? Have you been hurt, betrayed, deceived and disillusioned so bad that you bite now, but not as a defense but because you don't know any better? I can relate to Puppy. It's only logical! Why would I continually put myself out there so that all I can get in return is people hurting me? I am not a masochist! I want to be adored, respected, trust and be trusted....but if I go by my past, if I go by what people have shown me are capable of doing to me once I let my guard down, I should lock myself in my room and never leave. In fact, the wise plan seems to be that I completely numb myself from everyone, everything...the whole world. Robots have it easy dude, they function and they never have to worry about people hurting them or becoming vulnerable. Robots can carry the whole weight of the world and not break a sweat. Sounds like a plan to me....

And it was my plan, until I met the person that changed my whole life. This person touched my heart, my soul and the closer I get to this person, the more healing I receive. The tears of the past have turned into healing tears, each drop mending everything inside of me that was broken. This person was the first rebel to walk this earth, never cursed, never raised his voice, always loved selflessly, only so that he can be crucified and disrespected from the first scourge to this very moment. His name is Jesus.

Who is this King of Glory that pursues me with his love?And haunts me with each hearing of His softly spoken words. My conscience, a reminder of forgiveness that I need. Who is this King of Glory who offers it to me? Who is this King of angels, O blessed Prince of Peace. Revealing things of Heaven and all its mysteries.My spirit's ever longing for His grace in which to stand. Who's this King of glory, Son of God and son of man.His name is Jesus, precious Jesus. The Lord Almighty, the King of my heart.The King of glory. Who is this King of Glory with strength and majesty. And wisdom beyond measure, the gracious King of kings.The Lord of Earth and Heaven, the Creator of all things. He is the King of Glory, He's everything to me.

We become bitter, distrustful, hyper-sensitive, emotionally introverted, and even cold hearted when our whole heart is placed in the hands of another person and they beat it, crush it, hurt it, burn it and tear it apart. It's painful, it's almost in-human to want to do it to yourself again. But things change when you place your heart first and foremost in Jesus' hands. Your best friend is not the friend you've known since 6th grade. Your best friend will always be Jesus. Once he becomes your motive for everything you do, say, think, plan, etc., you will be guided to the people who will have no other intention but to be there the way you need, deserve, and yearn for. A relationship built on the love for Christ can weather all storms, all misunderstandings. A relationship built on the love for Christ is bound by the blood he shed for us because he loves us. Even then, there is never a guarantee that you will never get hurt again. But meditate on this: Does Jesus get respected the way he should? Does he get loved the way that he should? Has he ever gone thru some kind of betrayal, deception and abuse? Would you agree, that if JESUS gave himself selflessly for the gifts of eternal life for US and we, 2 thousand and seven years later, are still incapable of giving him the love and honor and respect that he deserved, that he earned, perfection and love in the flesh.... ask yourself, how we can expect imperfect people to love us in the perfect way that each one of us hungers for, when Jesus himself does not get what he deserves from us?

People will continue to hurt each other because we are imperfect. People will continue to hurt each other because they don't know any better. If you know better, then you will love better. Know Jesus and you will love better. Know Jesus, and he will provide people in your life that will heal every part of your broken heart and soul. Not because they, mere mortals, know how. But because if the people in your life, truly know Jesus, they will love you like Jesus would if he was here with us in the flesh today. My healers are my friends. Who are your healers? If you are at a place in your life where you find yourself living the "battered puppy syndrome", pray for guidance and ask God to unveil your eyes from the pain of yesterday to the people in your life meant to be there for you. If there is a relationship that has left you broken and scared, and you don't even know how to get on the road of recovery, Jesus style....here are your guidelines:

1. The Bible


2. The Mass


3. The Rosary (or any form of prayer)


4. The Blessed Sacrament


5. Confession

It is definitely a process that is easier said than done. No arguments here!!! But, keep in mind that you are never alone.

P.S. "Forgiveness is relieving a person from the obligations that resulted when they injured you"-Dr. James McDonald